


Breakfasting Bad

by billymermays



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: are those a thing i hope so, food truck au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:18:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1227832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billymermays/pseuds/billymermays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mr. White is a home ec teacher who opens a food truck after being diagnosed with cancer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breakfasting Bad

**Author's Note:**

> I've only seen 4 episodes ahaha sorry sorry   
> Thanks to computer for talking about the show a lot while they were watching it so I know things about it and also for writing the second half or so.

Mr. White was a very sad man. He taught a very sad home economics class.

He was very sad. 

One day he was diagnosed with a very sad case of cancer. What kind of cancer? I don’t know. How would I know? I’m not a doctor. I’m just a writer. Not even an official writer, just like, a joke internet writer?  

Saddened by this sad news and hoping to raise money for his pregnant wife and disabled son, he decided to go into the food truck business.

Also the meth business.

If you know how to cook food, you know how to cook meth.

And vise versa.

It’s all applicable. 

He found both very difficult to get into, though, until one day when he found a former home economics student, Jesse. Who had recently been fired from his job at the local bakery because he kept putting chilli powder in everything? It was pretty gross tbh. 

Even so,  Jesse was not yet as sad as Mr. White.

One day, he would be.

Sadder, even. 

Poor Jesse.

But y’know, after he got sadder and Mr. White got deader, Jesse would open a successful family diner chain in Norway and have 3 children and a lovely wife who would never ever cross paths with Mr. White except for when they played genderbent clue on family board game night.  But I digress. 

So Mr. White and Jesse painted a vertical line down the middle of the truck, with one half to serve as the food truck side and the other as the meth lab side. Wasn’t this a health hazard or a safety violation? Wouldn’t people notice the toxic fumes coming out of the service window? These are both good questions, and the short answer is—no.

Just, no.

Now the only thing left to do was to come up with a name for their food truck business.

Jesse suggested Vamonos pest and Mr. White countered with Loco les Pollos and Jesse countered with Vamonos meth and started laughing really hard and Mr. White got frustrated and gave into the name Vamonos Breakfast.  So they began cooking breakfast and meth at the same time and it worked out surprisingly well. 

Anyway, so after a long enough time and enough good reviews on yelp (probably due to the 12 oz free meth for commenting on yelp or liking us on facebook promo deal), Jesse and Mr. White had made a substantial stake in the deep underground middle of freaking nowhere sand dune desert indie hipster half snake half cactus population.

  Soon, they were raking in the dough—for the freshly baked bread for breakfast toast—obviously. They weren’t doing so well financially.  Until one day a certain food critic came along to taste their breakfast.

They called him—the Burger Fring.

After trying their “bacon torn to look shaped like a chicken on top of eggs” special, Fring offered them to combine their food truck and meth making business with his very successful fast food business.

Jesse was against it because he said it wouldn’t be “organic” anymore, but Mr. White eventually got him to agree to play rock paper scissors and Jesse always played paper so Jesse always lost.

So Jesse and Mr. White joined forces with the Burger Fring, and—well, you know how that ended. 

 


End file.
